# Laugh Corner

### Math Problem

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Six.”

Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven!”

Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”

Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”

Source: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/school-jokes

Woman 1: It was my husband’s birthday yesterday and he said: Take me somewhere I’ve never been before (present perfect).

Woman 2: So where did you take him?

Woman 1: Into the kitchen:-))

### Grammar is no laughing matter

Woman 1: Hey, you are wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger. (present progressive). Why?

Woman 2: Yes (a big sigh) … what do you expect? I married the wrong man (simple past) and sadly, … I’m still married to him (present)!!

### Who is the sleepiest in class?

Mr Wang walks into his class one afternoon only to find that most of his students look tired and sleepy. He quickly takes out a handful of candy from his bag and announces to the whole class: ‘I will give the candy to the sleepiest student’.

Suddenly everyone is wide awake and raises their hand: ‘Me, me, Mr Wang. I am the sleepiest in class’.

Another student stands up and says: ‘It’s got to be me. I stayed up late to finish my homework last night. I am the sleepiest!!’

Another student: ‘Everyone calls me Mr Sleepy so I am the sleepiest. Give me the candy, Mr Wang’.

Mr Wang notices that one little boy sitting at the back does not raise his hand so he asks: ‘Zhang Wei, why don’t you raise your hand?’

Zhang Wei yawns and says: ‘I am too sleepy to raise my hand!!’

Mr Wang smiles and gives the candy to him.

### Teacher Kim, You have changed a lot!

Youngchul was waiting for his Latte at Starbucks when he saw a woman sitting all alone in the corner. She looked exactly like Mrs Kim Jihyun, his high school English teacher.

Youngchul: Mrs Kim Jihyun, remember me? Youngchul … 용철 your student in high school. I was always sitting at the back. Remember?

Woman: Oh?

Youngchul: I’m sooo glad you remember. It’s good to see you again. But you have changed quite a bit. Your hair was black and curly back then. And you were slimmer, too. How you have changed!!

Woman: Who? What? me? I think you got the wrong person here.

Youngchul: You are Mrs Kim Jihyun, right?

Woman: No, I’m Lee Younghee.

Youngchul: Oh …you have even changed your name! (walking away …).

### You don’t know my Mom!

Teacher: Robbie, if you have 5 dollars and ask your Mom to give you another 5, how many dollars would you have?

Robbie: 5 dollars. No more, no less!

Teacher: You don’t know your maths!

Robbie: You don’t know my Mom!

### It’s the same dog, Ma’am!

Teacher:  Bobi, your story “My Dog” is exactly the same as Tedi’s. Did you copy his story?

Bobi:  No, Ma’am, I didn’t. Well, what happened was that Tedi and I wrote about the same dog.

Teacher:  But your story should be different from his.

Bobi: I don’t understand, Ma’am. Are you suggesting that in his story the dog has one tail? And in mine it has two tails? That would not be right, would it?

Teacher: Oh, get out of here, Bobi!! (Smiling)

### Grammar Test

Dad: David, how come you did so poorly on your grammar test?

David: Because of absence

Dad: Absence? You were absent on the day of the test? Or before?

Dad (getting impatient): So what’s the problem?

David: Uh …. uh … the girl who sits next to me … you know … she was absent on that day!!

## Lift or Elevator?

A business executive from America is in London. In an office building he is pressing the elevator button, as he is late for his 10 am meeting.

The American: “Your damn elevators are slow!”

The British security guard: “Oh really, Sir. Well, it is a busy day today. The lift will be here shortly.”

The American (getting impatient): “Elevator, not lift!!. I’m from America, and we invented the damn thing – it’s called an ELEVATOR.”

The British security guard (smiling): “Very true, sir. However, we invented the language and here we call the darn thing a LIFT.”