Math Problem
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”
Source: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/school-jokes
Present Perfect Gift
![](https://willyrenandya.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Bday-gift-for-husband-1.png)
Woman 1: It was my husband’s birthday yesterday and he said: Take me somewhere I’ve never been before (present perfect).
Woman 2: So where did you take him?
Woman 1: Into the kitchen:-))
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Grammar is no laughing matter
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Woman 1: Hey, you are wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger. (present progressive). Why?
Woman 2: Yes (a big sigh) … what do you expect? I married the wrong man (simple past) and sadly, … I’m still married to him (present)!!
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Who is the sleepiest in class?
Mr Wang walks into his class one afternoon only to find that most of his students look tired and sleepy. He quickly takes out a handful of candy from his bag and announces to the whole class: ‘I will give the candy to the sleepiest student’.
Suddenly everyone is wide awake and raises their hand: ‘Me, me, Mr Wang. I am the sleepiest in class’.
Another student stands up and says: ‘It’s got to be me. I stayed up late to finish my homework last night. I am the sleepiest!!’
Another student: ‘Everyone calls me Mr Sleepy so I am the sleepiest. Give me the candy, Mr Wang’.
Mr Wang notices that one little boy sitting at the back does not raise his hand so he asks: ‘Zhang Wei, why don’t you raise your hand?’
Zhang Wei yawns and says: ‘I am too sleepy to raise my hand!!’
Mr Wang smiles and gives the candy to him.
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Teacher Kim, You have changed a lot!
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Youngchul was waiting for his Latte at Starbucks when he saw a woman sitting all alone in the corner. She looked exactly like Mrs Kim Jihyun, his high school English teacher.
Youngchul: Mrs Kim Jihyun, remember me? Youngchul … 용철 your student in high school. I was always sitting at the back. Remember?
Woman: Oh?
Youngchul: I’m sooo glad you remember. It’s good to see you again. But you have changed quite a bit. Your hair was black and curly back then. And you were slimmer, too. How you have changed!!
Woman: Who? What? me? I think you got the wrong person here.
Youngchul: You are Mrs Kim Jihyun, right?
Woman: No, I’m Lee Younghee.
Youngchul: Oh …you have even changed your name! (walking away …).
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You don’t know my Mom!
![](https://willyrenandya.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Love-Mom.png)
Teacher: Robbie, if you have 5 dollars and ask your Mom to give you another 5, how many dollars would you have?
Robbie: 5 dollars. No more, no less!
Teacher: You don’t know your maths!
Robbie: You don’t know my Mom!
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It’s the same dog, Ma’am!
![](http://willyrenandya.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Same-dogs.png)
Teacher: Bobi, your story “My Dog” is exactly the same as Tedi’s. Did you copy his story?
Bobi: No, Ma’am, I didn’t. Well, what happened was that Tedi and I wrote about the same dog.
Teacher: But your story should be different from his.
Bobi: I don’t understand, Ma’am. Are you suggesting that in his story the dog has one tail? And in mine it has two tails? That would not be right, would it?
Teacher: Oh, get out of here, Bobi!! (Smiling)
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Grammar Test
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Dad: David, how come you did so poorly on your grammar test?
David: Because of absence
Dad: Absence? You were absent on the day of the test? Or before?
David: No, no … Dad
Dad (getting impatient): So what’s the problem?
David: Uh …. uh … the girl who sits next to me … you know … she was absent on that day!!
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Lift or Elevator?
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A business executive from America is in London. In an office building he is pressing the elevator button, as he is late for his 10 am meeting.
The British security guard: “Can I help you, Sir?”
The American: “Your damn elevators are slow!”
The British security guard: “Oh really, Sir. Well, it is a busy day today. The lift will be here shortly.”
The American (getting impatient): “Elevator, not lift!!. I’m from America, and we invented the damn thing – it’s called an ELEVATOR.”
The British security guard (smiling): “Very true, sir. However, we invented the language and here we call the darn thing a LIFT.”
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